[yeah I know this shit is obvious but I still get 35 questions about this every week hence this post] Wanna be a Fat Whore like Suzy?

With 40 grams of sugar in each 20 oz. bottle, you can become a fat whore in no time if you drink as much Sprite as Suzy does! To ensure that you don't burn off those carbohydrates, spend all day sitting at your computer reading allkpop (since you say they are the "fastest" and you need instant news updates about Korean idols) and commenting on Netizen Buzz in your vain attempt to become a kimchi faggot. You may not have been born with the kimchi faggotry like I have, but you can work hard at it, and eventually you can attain true kimchi faggotry by making lame T-ara jokes and worshiping Won Bin. You can do all of this while drinking bottle after bottle of Sprite to become a fatty like Suzy.